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Often when a circus comes to town, many of the animals are led by foot from a train to the location where the circus will be held. And on this particular day, as the circus train arrives during the middle of the night in the town of Springdale, the elephants and horses are led through the streets to the Civic Center where the circus will be held. In so doing, one of the elephants, Rosie, manages to escape and races down a dark neighborhood in Springdale. And by eight o'clock the next morning, the circus people have yet to find Rosie. Rosie, however, has now wound up in the backyard of George Horton who is now calmly reporting the incident to his local police. Officer, my name is George Horton of 38 Sunnydale Road. I would like to report an elephant on my property........Why are you laughing?...... Will you kindly stop laughing. This is a very serious matter. There is a real elephant in my backyard...... What makes me think it's an elephant? Isn't that rather a stupid question? Everyone niacin elephant when they see one......... No - it is not a large horse!.........No, I do not have to put only glasses! My eyes are perfectly good. I tell you it's a real elephant!..........No - Have not been drinking! I am completely sober and in full control of my senses..........No - I am not on drugs! Look, will you stop asking these stupid questions and get rid of this elephant!.......... I should describe the animal? .......... What's there to describe? An elephant is an elephant. He has a trunk, large ears, a thin tail and a huge gray body.........What - any distinguishing marks?....Yes, he has a tattoo on his right leg...... Of course I'm kidding. You ask a dumb question and you get a dumb answer.... What's he doing?.....If you must know, he's jumping rope with some children........ No, I am not a comedian. I am just a concerned citizen who wants this beast removed from my property!.........You really want to know what he's doing...... At the moment, he's eating all my prize roses. Now will you stop with these questions and take away this animal!......Does he look dangerous? What does it matter if he looks dangerous? He's a wild beast and anything can happen with a wild beast! Now are you going to remove this animal?.... What - you're not trained to handle elephants! Well, you're much better trained than I am! I don't even own a dog!....... What's that? ....... No, I didn't call the zoo. For one thing, there isn't a zoo within 300 miles of this town! Oh, this is getting ridiculous. Let me talk with your captain! The elephant is now eating all my tomatoes! Next, he'll be coming into my house and raiding the Frigidaire....All right, I'll wait for the captain. Look at that crazy animal. He's now staring at my apple tree. Keep away!! If you ever pull up that tree, I'll call my lawyer!!..... Oh captain. Hi. I have this little problem. There's an elephant in my backyard........ Will you cut out the laughing! This is no joke! Now what are you gonna do about this horrible beast?........ Is he causing any harm? For one thing, he's eaten my roses and tomatoes!........ I don't care if he's hungry! He has no right to my roses and tomatoes! Besides, he's a menace to the community and should be promptly removed......... Have I got any suggestions?...... No - i don't have any suggestions! What do I know about elephants? That's your department. The police are supposed to handle all types of emergencies and this is an emergency!..... It's not an emergency? In my book, it's an emergency and that's that!! Look, I haven't got time to argue. I must leave soon and get to work. But how can I leave with this elephant in my backyard..... What's that?....... You were just handed a bulletin about the elephant?........ What does it say?...... He broke loose last night from the circus? Oh, then that explains everything. You can now have the circus people come right over and take away the elephant. Just make it real soon. He's now eating my apples. |